


Another week with you

by Criscpi



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27389548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criscpi/pseuds/Criscpi
Summary: Very Small chapters of an intense story. Lived day by day.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 38
Kudos: 49





	1. At the hospital

Robbe doesn't see.  
After the accident he doesn't see anything.  
They say it is temporary but even if it was, for him not seeing is devastating.  
His friends have been gone for a while. And he is trying to see through the other senses but it is complicated.  
Then he hears the door open and immediately understands that it is not a doctor.  
"Who's there?"  
"Me"  
That voice.  
"You."  
"Can I come closer?"  
They had not spoken for more than a year.  
His ex best friend.  
What the hell was he doing here?  
"Sander."  
"May I?"

How much he had missed talking to him.  
But why is he here now? Out of pity?  
"No. Sander. Not now. This is not the time. It really isn't. Go away."  
"Robbe I..."  
"I beg you. Give me time. I know we talked before the accident but please. Not today."  
Silence.  
Robbe knew that Sander was still there.  
"You know I'll be back tomorrow, don't you?"

"If you haven't changed in the  
Last 11 months... I expect it. And very early tomorrow morning.  
"I just wanted to end the call"  
"We were arguing if I remember correctly."  
"Just because you didn't let me finish."

"See you tomorrow. I do not have the strength to argue again."

The door has been closed. Robbe has his  
eyes that pinch, he doesn't know why.  
But a few tears slip over his  
face.


	2. Go to hell

A year earlier things had changed radically for Robbe and Sander.

"Hey stranger."  
"Hey Robbe"  
"How's it going?"

Sander and Robbe had always been friends.   
They could not remember a day where they had not been.  
They had grown up and had overcome many small and big battles:   
Sander knew everything about Robbe, about his sexual orientation,  
of his relationship with his mother and father.  
Robbe knew everything about Sander: about his bipolarity, about his will to have at  
all costs a normal life, like that of thousands of other people.

But they accepted themselves in this way.  
Because friendship does not need judgement. 

But then... Sander falls in love. With a girl.   
And things between them become more complicated.

"Britt is very jealous. Also of you. Especially of you."  
"Of me?"  
"Well I told her you're gay..."

Their first fight.   
"And who would have given you the right to tell her that I am gay? Do you think I will take you away from her?"  
"Robbe I didn't want to..."  
"No. You didn't want to. But you did"

It had taken them days to get back to talking to each other.  
But things had not changed. On the contrary.  
Sander continued to be  
succubus of Britt's thoughts.   
Even during his down moments.  
She blamed of this situation   
His unhealthy friendship with Robbe.

That cursed day had happened the inevitable.  
"What is it Sander?"  
"Well. Britt doesn't want us to see each other."  
"What do you want?"  
"Come on, Robbe, I'm in love, what do you want me to tell her?"  
Robbe doesn't talk.  
He doesn't understand where his best friend is.  
Before he can find the words, Britt arrives...  
"What does it mean that I can no longer see my best friend?"  
He shouts in her face. By now he no longer had filters.  
This story had to end. And he knew that the one who would lose would be him.   
But it no longer mattered.   
He had to throw out that poison.

"Why don't I want to? Why not? Be honest with yourself Robbe, how do you feel about my boyfriend?"  
"We have been friends for a lifetime"  
"I said sincerity."

Robbe was furious.  
"What does it change if I tell you that I love him from always? What changes?   
If he loves you, I would never allow myself to put him in trouble, which you have...  
you do it right now and now if you don't mind you both go to hell."

Since then Sander and Robbe had stopped being friends.  
Sander had tried to write to him.  
But Robbe had rejected everything, even his calls.  
"If that's what you want then we're done".  
Until today that was their last contact.


	3. Phone call

The day of the accident  
Robbe was in a hurry: he had to do a thousand things  
and among them there was the recovery of some things at his ex-boyfriend's house:they didn’t fight because just that as it had started, without warning, suddenly it was over, leaving both of them a bit empty but at least not angry with each other.

The phone rings and as usual Robbe answers without looking: the voice he hears beyond the handset is not expecting him.  
"Robbe?"  
It can't be him. It's definitely a joke in his mind. It's tiredness.  
He says his name in a whisper  
"Sander..."  
"Am I disturbing you? “  
What did he has to answer? What did he has to do?  
"I'm in a bit of a rush..."  
"Can we meet?"  
Robbe wakes up. He must use his brain.  
"Sander... I don't think it's appropriate..."  
"Why?"  
"Because I don't feel like going back to a year ago.  
I don't want to feel as bad as the following months.  
I don't want to feel fooled".  
"I've never made fun of you, you know."  
"Maybe you don't, but your girlfriend does."  
"It’s over with Britt."  
"Sander. This doesn't change things.  
You'll find someone else and we'll go back to the  
starting point. Because you seem to be looking for someone who can throw me out of your life".  
Robbe's eyes are full of tears: the last time he spoke with Sander  
He said he loved him.  
It was true. It was still true. He always would have been. But this was not supposed to make him give in.  
It could not happen.  
It could not be refused again. Left behind for a girl.  
It was doubly painful.  
When Sander starts talking he suddenly hears on the other side the sound of a car braking and a bang. Then nothing more.  
Sander calls Robbe. He shouts his name. The panic rises.  
In the following hours, he does nothing but try to contact everyone who may know what happened.  
Until...  
"He is in the hospital. Severe head trauma. He is awake but has temporarily lost his sight: he has been hospitalized until even those parameters return to normal".  
"Thanks Noor"  
"Sander”  
"Tell me"  
"He has taken months to recover himself from  
your estrangement.  
Are you sure of what you do?"  
"Noor. Thank you but now it is all very clear believe me. You will understand. If he will allow me to clarify."


	4. Last chance

The next morning after the daily doctors' tour, Robbe sees the specialist:  
"You'll still have about 48 hours of darkness, then slowly it should all go back to the normality. Yesterday's CT scan shows that the hematoma is being reabsorbed".

48 hours will not be the end of the world.  
While reflecting on what he would do once out of there, the door opens: Robbe says nothing, hopes it is a nurse, instead the smell of that person a few inches from him leaves no doubt:  
Sander takes his hand and puts it on his face.  
After months Robbe smells Sander's skin, feels his chin, lips and nose and...  
Tears...tears?  
"Are you crying?"  
He receives no answer.  
"Sander don't frighten me, damn it, what is it? Are you all well? Are your parents ok?"

Sander tries to speak even if his voice shakes:  
"I've been a horrible person.  
I put you aside as if our friendship was worth less than what I was  
felt for Britt at that moment.  
I stepped on you. I stepped on you and your feelings. I'm the one who hasn't seen for months, who for years pretended not to see.  
I was talking about courage but I didn't have an ounce of it.  
I was an idiot. An enormous gigantic idiot."

Robbe doesn't answer. Assimilate the words to think about it later  
"But these tears?"

Sander approaches: Robbe feels the warmth of Sander's face next to his again;  
"I won't be able to come in the next few days.  
I have a deadline and if I don't finish  
I risk the place. But I could not wait any longer. I wanted to do it the other day, but the accident complicated my plans.  
It took me hours to find out where you were taken, how about your health conditions and if I could get in to see you:  
I will do it as soon as possible but will you let me explain what happened in the last year?"

Robbe felt that he himself deserved an explanation. He had to understand. And understand where Sander was going with it.  
But he was afraid to hear what he had to say to him.  
He thought about it for a few minutes, trying to understand what was best for him.  
But it was Sander. In spite of everything, he knew that it would not hurt him more than he had already done.  
He thinks he is ready to give Sander a last chance. 

"All right. Contract concluded"  
"Give me 36 hours and I'll tell you everything."

Sander shakes Robbe's hand and leaves. Leaving Robbe with the feeling of being even more confused.  
Confused, curious and excited.


	5. Noor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little extra before tomorrow❤️

"Hi Robbe, this is Noor..."  
"Noor hello! How are you?"  
"Great, we can't get through today...  
I am sorry..."  
"Noor you came every day, there are no problems..."  
"Robbe, did he come..."  
Robbe remains silent for a second. Noor . It must have been her who told  
Sander where he had been hospitalized.  
"Who, Sander? Yes. But we have only established that he has to talk to me I don't know anything else".  
"Okay... how are you?"  
"The hematoma is reabsorbing. Then a week of absolute rest and then back to my normal life.”  
"Robbe ..."  
"Noor... I'm fine. I have learned to have no expectations of him."

Robbe and Noor talk about something else for a while and then say goodbye to each other: he knows he has hidden his best friend's tears from Noor, tears that still had no answer.  
But even though Noor knew, Robbe had to somehow keep the situation under control, or he would have to think about him, to sander to Noor...   
Now he wanted to reopen his eyes in every possible way.


	6. The truth.

Done.  
The work had been approved and delivered.  
Now Sander had another more important thing to do: to clarify with Robbe.   
There were two scenarios and he feared that Robbe would choose the worst, but it was worth a try.   
When he arrives in front of his room, he had to wait until he calmed down a bit: he had  
prepared that moment for weeks, even before he found the courage to call it.  
He opens the door: "Ehy"  
Robbe is looking out the window with another person.  
"Sander he is Marc. Marc, Sander."  
They shake hands. Sander immediately understands who he is.  
"Robbe, I'm going, if you need me to pick you up when you're discharged..."  
"I'll let you know Marc, thank you. Nice of you to drop by..."  
They hug each other.   
When they are alone, Sander would like to follow that guy and kick him. For the sake of it. But he certainly didn't have the right to do that and he was there to talk and be extremely sincere. He had to concentrate.

"Hello again"  
"Hello"  
"Is the sight back?"  
Not totally, but I'm starting to see colors. Blurred, but still better than yesterday.   
More a few hours and everything should resolve itself. I can't wait to get out of here."  
Sander thinks again for a moment about that Marc, then he concentrates on the important things. On his friend.  
"Great news, isn't it? “  
Robbe hints at a half smile.  
"Have you come to talk?"  
"Yes"  
"Okay, I'll sit on the bed, do you mind?"  
"No, not at all"  
Sander takes a deep breath.  
With his fingers he touches the wall of the room and tries to leave without having direct visual contact with Robbe.

"After that cursed day I threw myself headlong into the studio and work. I didn't want to think. It could not be that we were no longer friends.  
With Britt it still lasted a couple of weeks: her presence didn't make sense anymore. You had turned on a light bulb, more bulbs actually inside me.  
She was after me for several weeks after the breakup: she blamed you again. Despite the events, she was still obsessed with you. So I started screaming and telling her that if she was so afraid of your presence it was because the love you felt was stronger than she felt.   
After that clash I never saw her again.  
I reflected for days on what you had said. On what I had said.   
Then 4 months ago I went to my parents' house: it was raining and I helped my father fix the attic: we found whole boxes of photos and films with old footage: you were always there. You were there. With me. Rain or sun. Summer or winter. Indivisible.   
What had happened to me?  
Why the hell did I let you leave like that?   
When I went back to my usual routine I decided that alone I would never get the answers I was looking for, so I made an appointment with the school counselor: in less than 5 minutes my answers had been brought back to light and cleaned up by the dust of time.  
Of course I should have come immediately to talk to you. But I was afraid.   
The fear of facing you was the last obstacle I had to overcome. And here I am."  
Finally Sander looks at him: it doesn't matter if Robbe sees him. The most important part must be said with courage.  
"When you said that you loved me something inside me, clicked. At first I didn't understand what it was. Now I know it. You had given voice to what I had always felt too. I ruined the most important relationship to look for another one that could never compete.   
Saying I am sorry won't do much good. It seems such a small word compared to what I put you through".

Silence. 

"Robbe, I'm going now. I am not here to get your forgiveness: you simply deserved the truth. “

"Sander. “  
Sander turns.   
"Why now?"  
"Because I couldn't take it anymore. Because you had to know. I am not here to demand anything. I really am not. But you had to know that you never left my life.   
And you never will. Bye."

Sander is waiting for nothing else: he just wants to get some air and let off steam.   
Finally he had managed to be honest with himself and with Robbe at the same time.  
It had not been a perfect speech.  
It was much more complicated than that, but it was a start. And if one day he had time, he would have said everything, down to the smallest detail.   
Everything he had managed to get out of his heart during those months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!  
> Sorry if I Don’t answer you, but I am afraid of giving you spoilers 😎  
> Let me know if you want an extra Sunday chapter...   
> Thank you for everything   
> Love, Cri


	7. Tomorrow.

Robbe is in the room. Alone, after Sander's monologue. He gets up. He looks out the window. He would like to see what happens outside. He would like to see what Sander is doing right now.  
Sander.  
Sander.   
Sander.  
"You've never come out of my life either, idiot.”  
Tears come down. Warm. New. Tears ready to untie knots held tight by who knows how many things: fears, lies, mistakes.  
He had always blamed Sander for everything, but he had been like Britt: he had wanted Sander to remain unaware of his greatest secret.  
He had not been the best friend one expects.

The next morning Robbe gets up and finally the contours are clear: the room has all the details and the doctor finally declares the end of his stay.  
"Tomorrow afternoon you can leave Robbe"  
"Thank you, Doctor."  
"Do you already know who will come for you?"  
"A friend"  
"Very well. One more week of rest and then you can go back to your every day life, okay? See you tomorrow Robbe, great recovery"  
A friend? Really? Exactly who did you think of, Robbe?   
Milan? Senne? Jens? Who?

Robbe picks up the phone.  
What the hell?  
The phone rings.  
It rings again.  
"Hello?"  
"Sander?  
"Robbe..."  
"I'm being discharged tomorrow afternoon. Would you...would you come and pick me up?"  
Silence  
"Sander?"  
"At what time?"  
"At 4:00 p.m. Time for some bureaucracy."  
"Are you sure? And Marc?"  
"I called you, didn't I?"  
"Yes, yes, of course, at 4:00 p.m. I will be there."  
"They asked me if you can come up  
to pick up my things; as a rule I can't lift weights until next Monday".

"All right. See you tomorrow then."  
"Bye”

He had done so.  
He had called him.  
Now he just had to wait for the day to slip away. 

Sander was also looking forward to tomorrow.  
If he had called him, it couldn't have been a bad sign, could it?


	8. Last day.

12:00 noon   
after the meal  
Robbe takes one last shower in that terrible bathroom and gets ready to go out.   
No more tubes, no more tacs, no more exams. At least for the next few weeks.   
Finally he puts his favorite pants and his favorite sweatshirt back on.   
Finally he was back in his clothes. And soon he was going to get out of there. With Sander.

3:00 p.m.   
They pass for the usual cup of tea.  
Some nurses pass by to greet Robbe and with them they bring the last documents to sign.  
Finally!

3:45 p.m.  
Sander opens the door:   
"Can I come in?  
"Come in.  
"Hello"  
"Hello"  
"Are you already free?"  
"Yes. Greeted everyone and signed the documents. We can go."  
Sander takes Robbe's backpack and goes out. His car was there waiting for them.  
"Ready to go home?"  
"Actually no."  
"In what sense?"  
"Listen, I've been thinking about it. I don't want to go home. I am convalescing until Monday, it means another 5 days of relaxation. I need a pleasure."  
"Tell me"  
"I thought that staying a few days in your house in the mountains could give me more than good... is it possible?"  
"Sure. But do you want to stay there alone? Are you sure you will stay alone after the accident?"  
"No. Of course not."  
"Robbe I don't understand..."  
"Well it's your house."  
"Are you inviting me to my house?"  
"If you want to stay. It's big and everyone can have his own space."

Sander doesn't say anything anymore.   
He stops to buy something to eat for the evening, picks up some clothes in his apartment.  
He warns everyone that he is leaving for a few days.   
And he gets back in his car.   
"Ready to go”  
"Ok"

An eternity had passed since the last time they had traveled together to the mountain.  
Sander thought throughout the trip that even if everything had remained so amicably strange, it would have been fantastic.

"There's still half an hour to go, do you want to rest? “  
"No...I look outside...I missed seeing everything clearly."

When they arrive, waiting for them there is a house that already knows them and they know its. They enter without fear and probably without thinking much about what will happen.


	9. Renovation.

"I'll light the fire in the fireplace or tonight we'll freeze."  
Robbe meanwhile was arranging some things in the room that Sander had left him.  
"Where will you sleep?"  
"Here on the couch, so I keep the fire under control for a while."  
"Will you sleep on the couch?"  
"Yes, the upstairs part is under renovation, we can't go there."  
"Really? You should have told me! But... not even a quick peek?"  
"Do you want to see my mother's evil plans? Let's go"  
The second floor was full of dust and rubble.  
The doors were no longer there and in their place at the time there were some plastic curtains in order to avoid all the dirt spread to the lower floor as well.  
"She also had this board put in to prevent the dust from spreading to the floor below. My mother, poor deluded"

"What is the project?"  
"Expand the bathroom, make a large bedroom and a small kitchen. The idea is to try to rent it when we are not here."

"WoW. When is the end of the work?"  
"It will take a year, I think."  
"A year can pass quickly."  
"Or slowly."  
"Yes"

Silence. Voltage. Unspoken words.

"Robbe let's go down, it's freezing here".  
"Ok”  
Sander closes the only remaining door that divides the two floors and goes down with Robbe. 

They have dinner watching a movie. Something they always did, commenting on every single shot.  
This time, everything had started uphill,  
but in the end the atmosphere had warmed up.  
They even started laughing to tears.   
"It really seems so!!!"  
"No, come on. No... ahahahahahahah nooooo!!!!"  
At the end of the film, calm returns. Returning to normality took time.

"Sander... do you mind if I go to sleep?"  
"Not at all. You are convalescing. Good night Robbe. See you tomorrow..."

Sander finishes putting the last things in the kitchen and then gets ready to rest.   
A busy day was ending. 5 more in front of him, with Robbe.   
Their friendship seemed to be reborn from ashes.


	10. Fog and Rain.

The next morning Sander wakes up early.  
He prepares the fire again, outside the fog is thick. It will probably rain later.   
He approaches the kitchen stretching himself and starts to prepare breakfast.

Robbe is still asleep.   
It had been more than half an hour so Sander  
awakens with a nice hot shower.  
Robbe leaves no trace. The fog is thinning.  
Sander starts to worry.  
He knocks on the door.  
"Robbe are you ok?"  
Silence  
Knock again  
"Robbe?"  
No answer.  
Sander enters.   
"Hey Robbe"  
Robbe is awake, but he is lying in bed with a book in his hand.  
"Sander... what is it?"  
"Oh God. You didn't answer, you're usually an early riser...sorry I didn't..."  
In response Robbe throws a pillow at him  
"Ahhhh! Since when did you become so paternal? Old man!"  
"Paternal? Look what Daddy is doing to you now! “  
A war of pillows is going on. Feathers and dust fly everywhere!  
When the pillows are too far away to pick them up, they start using their hands, trying to block each other.   
Sander manages to grab Robbe's wrists, blocking him on the bed.  
They stop laughing and look at each other.   
There are silences that have the power  
of a thousand words and this is definitely one of them.  
Then Sander loosens his grip and helps Robbe to stand up.  
"I'm going to wash up, you win!"  
"Don't you dare call me an old man anymore, I was just worried."  
Sander goes out  
"Old man!"  
Robbe yells at him laughing.

At the end of the breakfast Sander and Robbe go for a walk. They still cannot speak to each other, except for a few minutes.

"How are your eyes?  
"Fine, fine, no disturbance."  
"Fine".

Robbe looks around  
"God, how many memories... how many summers we spent in this house?"  
"If I remember well from 6 to 13 years."  
"How long has it been since you came here?"  
"I came with Britt... the weekend Broke up with her."  
"Mhhh"  
Robbe wants to know a bit more.  
"Can you still hear her?"  
"No. We sent ourselves a few courtesy messages but since it's over we will have written to each other three times."

They continue to walk in silence.  
It takes patience to revive a friendship. One step at a time, like in the mountains.

"Before returning, we pick up a few twigs so we put them to dry in front of the fireplace and use them tomorrow to light it".

They spend the afternoon between a TV series and reading. The weather as expected was getting worse  
"Sander?"  
Sander has fallen asleep. Robbe looks at him: how much he had missed spending time with him.  
It seemed to him that just being close to him was like coming back to life and breathing after a year in apnea.   
After a few minutes Sander woke up.  
"Oops I dozed off, didn't I?"  
"Let's say you slept and snored."  
"I'm sorry..."  
"You don't have to. I am...I was used to it."  
Sander makes an astonished face.  
"You've always been more sleepy than me. I spent afternoons watching you sleep..."

"You never told me"  
"We haven't said a lot of things to each other."  
"It's not always wrong..."  
"In our case I think it is"  
"I'm so sorry"  
"Me too."

Then someone ring at the door.   
"The pizzas have arrived."  
Sander wants to finish talking.  
But fate, in the form of a delivery boy, had decided that this was not the time.


	11. “I need to talk to him.”

It's raining and the boys are ready to go to sleep.  
Sander gets ready first, Robbe finishes later, then lies down on the bed.   
He thinks about the day, the wave of memories, the beauty of that place.   
How it still warms his heart to watch Sander sleep.  
Nothing. Nothing had changed.   
But what was he supposed to do? He remembered Sander's words perfectly at the hospital, but... did he really understand what he had said? He kept repeating them in his head, but he was afraid he had misunderstood.  
He had to talk to him. Now.

Go back to the salon. Sander sleeps blissfully wrapped in a blanket.  
Robbe puts wood in the fireplace,  
then sits on a pillow next to the sofa: he listens to Sander's constant breathing...he must find a way to wake him up.  
He touches his shoulder but to no avail.  
Perhaps he should have been more decisive.   
Perhaps he could have waited until tomorrow.   
So while he is trying to put the  
Ideas about what to do, he falls asleep with his head next to Sander's.  
An hour or so passes and Sander wakes up: the sofa is not comfortable at all and the sleep is a bit agitated. He realizes that Robbe is there next to him.

"Robbe. Hey Robbe... wake up, you'll catch cold."  
Robbe wakes up just enough to get under the covers.  
"I don't have the strength to go back there, give me some space. We used to do this all the time as children..."  
After this sentence Robbe goes back to sleep immediately.  
Sander, who welcomed him under the covers, doesn't say anything: he doesn't say that two adults are now having trouble sleeping there.   
So all he can do is smile and fall asleep intoxicated by the scent of Robbe's hair. 

When he opens his eyes again, from the faint light that penetrates the windows the day is coming.  
The shoulder on which he slept all night is sore, but moving is out of the question: Robbe is sleeping next to him, as if nothing had happened, as if time hadn't passed.   
To hell with the shoulder.  
"Sander?"  
"Hey..."  
"Are you okay?" Robbe turns around and talks to him with his eyes still closed.  
"It's okay... get some more sleep, it's very early in the morning."  
"You do the same... good night...

Sander decides to listen to the advice: he removes the hair from Robbe's face and reflects on the moment: they are so close... an imperceptible movement would be enough to touch each other's lips.  
But that's all right.  
It's all right.


	12. The greenhouse.

"It's still raining..."  
"It's a pity we can't go for a walk"  
"Can we go by car to get something good to eat? At least let's go out"  
They park and then wander around the center without an umbrella with only their raincoats. They buy food, stop to look and buy some vinyl at an old travelling second-hand fair.  
"We had to bring a backpack"  
"Let's take these things in the car and come back for a coffee, shall we?"  
"Perfect"

They go to a bar in the center, have a coffee, two large chocolate croissants and talk. A little more than the day before, closer and closer to their old way of communicating, but with more awareness. You can feel it. They feel it. 

Robbe has been thinking about it since yesterday. He had to talk to Sander. He had to. Otherwise everything would have stalled and they would never have solved their problems completely.

"Sander... I keep thinking about what you said to me in the hospital".  
"It wasn't my best speech, I can understand that something is unclear".  
"Actually, I'm just afraid I misunderstood some parts."  
"Tell me which"  
Robbe gets up, pays for their second breakfast and then says:  
"I'll tell you at home, let's go."  
They arrange the loot and Sander immediately tries one of the vinyl he bought:  
"It works! Do you still like it?"  
"Bowie? With a fan like you around, not loving it would have been impossible. “  
He stops then decides that it was the right time to start being honest. Terribly sincere.  
"Listening to him was one of the things that made me think of you..."  
Sander approaches:  
"I guess you've stopped listening to him..."  
Robbe challenges Sander's gaze.  
"On the contrary. I listened to it every day. For eleven bloody months."  
Sander didn't expect it. He thought they were playing, instead...  
"Robbe..."  
Robbe blocks him.Now he must speak.  
"Sander. what did you mean when you told me that I gave voice to what you were feeling?"  
Sander approaches him, takes his face in his hands and caresses Robbe's cheeks:  
"Is it really not clear?"  
"I don't know..."  
"Do you want me to explain it to you by voice, or shall I show it to you?"  
"Show it to me, I don't want any more misunderstandings."  
Sander approaches. With the tip of his nose he caresses Robbe's nose.  
"Come with me.  
Sander takes him out: under the house, a few hundred meters away there is a greenhouse. Robbe remembered that place.  
They enter.  
Sander walks slowly, as if to recover memories, courage, words.

"Do you remember when I had that crisis the last summer we spent here? You found me, huddled under this table; you sat next to me, embraced me and waited for everything to end.  
My parents had brought us food and blankets. You never moved.  
When I regained the strength to move, you brought me back into the house. And everything started again from where we had left it. I have never felt so loved again.  
There I realized that we were not just friends, but shared a greater feeling. And I understood that for me you would be the one and only one. But then I became afraid of what I felt. I hid everything in a corner of my heart and threw myself into the spasmodic search for someone to take your place in my thoughts. But I failed. As was to be expected. The terrible thing is that out of fear not only did I lose my best friend, but also the chance to be with you in every way possible.  
I do not want to be afraid anymore.  
So if you love Marc it's okay, but it won't change the way I feel about you, even if it means that I can't..."  
He stops the time to turn around and look at Robbe closing his eyes to better savor the moment.  
Then Robbe opens his eyes, his gaze fixed  
on Sander.  
"Marc is a very small part of the past. We are no longer together; the other day he just dropped by to see me.  
I am also tired of being afraid..."  
At that point Sander takes his hands.  
He kisses them and puts them on his face;  
he would like more, much more, but he understands that it's only a matter of time. 

"Let's go back inside"  
Sander lets Robbe's hands slide over him before turning around and heading towards the greenhouse door.  
But Robbe takes his hand and they go home like this, hand in hand.  
"I won't leave you again"  
Whisper to Sander  
"Neither do I"


	13. Me and you.

The rain doesn't want to stop coming down;  
And Robbe and Sander don't seem to want to stop hugging each other.  
After watching a movie of which they only enjoyed the soundtrack because they were too intent on watching each other, they decide it's time to go to sleep:  
Sander starts preparing the sofa  
"What do you do?"  
"I prepare my bed..."  
In response Robbe takes him by the hand again and brings him to his room.   
"Here there is space for both of us. And then, sleeping in your arms should no longer be a problem..."  
Sander smiles and lets himself be guided on the bed: Robbe curls up on one side while Sander hugs him from behind...".  
"Good night"  
"Sweet dreams Robbe"  
They both wake up when Robbe turns. They are in front of each other: Robbe begins to caress Sander's hair, his face; he strokes the contours of his lips with the tip of his thumb, slips on his neck... then comes back to look at him: 

Sander puts his lips on the boy's lips. His Robbe.  
It's not just a short circuit, it's not just butterflies flying from the bottom belly to the throat: it's about going back and cleaning up 11 horrible months. It's about filling a void with an infinite amount of love.  
To feel, through those first kisses, the warmth that the other's body possesses inside is more than magic.  
Robbe clings to Sander's neck, trying not to lose contact with those warm and soft lips.  
He caresses the arm, the hip, the chest..,  
He caresses the thigh, touching every inch of it:  
Sander does the same.   
They have always known each other but they had never "felt" like that.  
Sander doesn't stop whispering the  
Name of Robbe. And Robbe can not speak, so taken by that  
moment of pure and intense happiness.  
Sander holds him to himself, so as not to lose contact even during sleep:  
"How do you feel?"  
Robbe rests his head on Sander's chest...   
"I don't think I can find the words to say it.  
Let me try: do you remember when our parents allowed us to do something that we had wanted for so long? Sum it up. Multiply them by an enormous number. Elevate them to infinity. It's still not enough. I no longer hoped to spend even a few hours with you...but to be with you...like this...it was not part of any of my more rosy dreams.  
Sander kisses his forehead:  
"You don't know how many times I have imagined what your reaction would be... “  
"It wasn't that bad... “  
"The best that could happen to me..."

Sander helps Robbe to sit on him.   
He looks at him with intensity, as if he were seeing him for the first time.   
"I cannot be without you. This has been the most horrible and difficult year of my whole life. I don't want it to happen again".  
"It won't happen again. If we trust each other."

Robbe smiles, says nothing while hugging him. Sander accepts the hug and says: "we should go and have breakfast".  
"A few more minutes..."  
"Sure, we can do whatever we want"  
"Would you hold me close to you?"  
"From today and forever"


	14. The Spa.

The next day, the rain had stopped falling.  
Waking up in Sander's arms was wonderful. Indeed, more so.  
"Are you awake?"  
"Yes, I am.  
"We got a lot of sleep in the end."  
"We both had backlogs."  
"What do you want to do today?"  
"Let me think... apart from being with you and kissing you all day I can't think of anything better."  
Sander kisses him. He would do it forever. He would also stop eating so as not to occupy his lips in other stupid chores.  
"I could think of something nice."  
"Enlighten me."  
"If I tell you spa?"  
"Have the old spas reopened?"  
"Yeah... what do you say?"  
"I say that I am curious...since these are the last days here..."  
Sander feels a thrill.  
That marvelous journey can't be almost over already...  
"Sander...I know what you are thinking about...a journey ends, not the one born here..."  
Again the tips of their noses touch each other:  
"You're right...it's just that it's so nice here..."  
"We will find other places where we can feel good together..."

They are getting ready: the baths are only a few kilometers away from their love nest.  
They remain for several hours among scented oils, incense, warm waters... sensory paths.  
And in all this no one has prevented  
them to hold hands, caress each other, kiss each other...  
"You are beautiful even all covered with oil"  
Sander is not used to all these compliments.  
"Come here"  
He takes Robbe's hand to lure him to himself:  
The water of the pool where they make the last  
bath is warm and enveloping.  
"Come here my love"  
Robbe looks at him and his eyes are filled with tears.  
"What is it?"  
"It's the first time you've ever called me that... “  
"So how?"  
"Love.... my love..."  
Sander kisses him, without brakes as if that place was just them. As if only Robbe existed in the world. And it was like that. It had always been like that.  
When the lips come off each other, Sander embraces Robbe:  
"That's what you are Robbe. You are my great love."  
Robbe melts in Sander's embrace and words.  
"And you have always been mine. The only love of my life. The only one. My heart is yours"  
"I promise I'll take care of it."  
"Now I know"


	15. Dancing.

"Dance with me"  
Sander had turned the turntable on.  
An old vinyl of his parents that he and Robbe had listened to dozens of times during the summers spent there.  
Robbe lifts it up, getting closer to Sander: their fingers intertwine, their movements are fluid, slow: their eyes lost in each other's irises.  
Robbe rests his free hand on Sander's chest, follows the lines of his muscles and slowly, following the rhythm of the music, takes off his shirt.  
None of them is in a hurry.  
Sander kisses his neck, stops on Adam's apple, and he too follows Robbe's movements and takes off his sweatshirt: the contact of their bodies makes both of them shiver.  
"I can no longer wait... come"  
In the room their dance continues according to new rules: kisses and caresses become more intense and when Sander is inside Robbe's body he stops:  
"I didn't think it would be so incredible to feel your body pulsating like this for me."  
"Sander ... you don't know how incredible it is to feel you inside me...don't stop...take me to heaven..."  
"I'll take you anywhere you want."  
When in the end they find themselves exhausted and happy next to each other  
Robbe turns and looks at Sander: his profile, his skin, his hair... it was true. It was all true. He had just made love to his best friend whom he had always loved.  
"I love you Sander" he says to him  
Sander turns to look at that gift that life has allowed him to find: with dark, big, reassuring eyes.  
"I love you Robbe"

Tomorrow they would leave this place. They had spent an incredible week that had managed to unhinge all the badness of the past year one without the other. Now they knew they would never leave each other again.  
Now they only had to build a future together.


	16. Goodbye old life.

It's time to pack their bags, close some doors, check for the last time that the fireplace fire is completely out.  
They cover the bed that had taken the scent of both...  
"What do you do with these vinyls?"  
"I leave them here... so we are forced to return..."  
They get into the car and greet the house that had once again welcomed them, pampered and loved them.

The journey is silent: Robbe and Sander hold their hands over the gearshift.  
When they arrive in front of Robbe's apartment building a veil of sadness envelops them.  
"See you tomorrow?"  
"Will I have to wait that long?  
"Do you want to go out tonight?"  
Sander falters. He would like to say yes, but Robbe has to go back to his life and so does he: they are not breaking up, they are just returning to a normal time, a normal life. Is it that a normal life, stay without the love of his life? He doesn’t have an answer and it hurts almost like a farewell.  
"See you tomorrow. I won't stop thinking about you"  
"Neither do I"

Robbe enters in the flat after an hour of kisses and greetings: everything seems to have little taste, even the coffee.  
He Calls Noor:  
"I am back"  
"Hey there bad boy! How was the week of recovery?"  
Robbe doesn't know exactly how to say it.  
"Noor. I was in the mountains...with Sander."

"What???????? I want to know everything, are you two friends again?"  
"Well... not really."  
"Oh no, I'm sorry... what didn't work out? “

Robbe smiles  
"Noor we are no longer friends because... we are together"

"Together together? That is, he is your boyfriend and you are his?"  
"Yes"  
"Oh God Robbe... how do you feel?"  
"I have never been happier. Never. Only that..."  
"Tell me everything..."  
"Now I am here like an idiot in an empty apartment when my whole body, my thoughts and my heart would like to be elsewhere."

"Robbe. Go. Live it. You have waited all your life to be with him! Reach him and spend time together...."  
"But our lives..."  
"...will fit better if you're together... have I ever given you useless advice? Run to him Robbe, what are you waiting for? I'll wait a few days for the spicy details!"  
"Noor!"  
"Get ready and go!"

Robbe closes the call.  
He looks around again. Then he goes into action; he takes and puts everything he feels his in a suitcase along with his clothes.  
He leaves the house and calls a cab.  
In a few minutes he is in front of Sander's house.  
He rings but no light comes on, nobody comes to open the door:  
Robbe sits on the stairs, with his back to the front door.

Perhaps he had been too hasty. Maybe he had to call him.  
While he reflects on that rash gesture a voice brings him back to reality:

"Robbe, what are you doing there in the cold?"  
Robbe doesn't answer and throws himself around his neck.  
"I am not interested in my life as it was before. I want our lives to fit together from now on. I talked to Noor, and she gave me the final push to say goodbye to my old apartment and come here with you... if you want..."

Sander remains incredulous.  
It's really happening what he had hoped for the last two days.  
He holds his boyfriend tight and lets the words follow the flow of his emotions. Like a week before in the hospital.

"I didn't hope for better... I wanted to ask you to come here with me but I felt I was too hasty.  
Stay my love.  
Stay with me"

"I will stay with you. From now and forever."


End file.
